Why can’t I come home?

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So I’m totally having a panic attack right now. I am driving to the dentist and I was thinking about how difficult it is for me to come home? Actually I’m thinking about naming this blog, “why can’t I come home?”

While I was driving to the dentist, trying to ignore the panic, the sun was starting to rise and the view was absolutely magnificent!!! I didn’t stop… I continued to drive… I wanted to stop, but I didn’t… I was late for my dentist appointment, an appointment that I hadn’t  even made yet, but was hoping they could squeeze me in for… Yet I didn’t stop.

“I always stop. It’s the sunrise!! The sunsets… I stop.. it’s too beautiful not to stop .. why aren’t I stopping?”

I got to the end of the bridge … we have long bridges down here.. and when I got to the end, the guy that was up my ass, probably later for his day than I am for mine, swerved around me and took off… Empty boat..

I pulled over and waited till the traffic passed by, did a U-turn, and went and got my moment of beauty. In this late, panic stricken… struggling to breathe and focus moment, I CHOSE LOVE.. Loving myself.. During that 60 seconds that I allowed myself to stop, and take in the moment.. I did my deep breathing exercise.. one moment.. One 60 second moment. I chose to love myself for that moment and give myself that gift. The panic fell off of me.

I thought about the book I had read .. That time is a figment of our imagination.  What would it matter if I didn’t accomplish my goals at the dentist today? It really wouldn’t matter.  As it turns out, I got to the dentist a little late for their walk in suggested time.. The building was gone .. In its place stood a brand new Walmart.  I google mapped their new address and headed there instead.  In my haste, i’d forgotten to bring today’s book I am reading.  It’s okay tho because they scheduled me for tomorrow morning 🙂 I’ll get to see that glorious sunrise all over again!

I realized, while getting dressed today, that I missed my mirrors. While I’m working on loving the reflection that’s staring back at me .. Due to the weight I gained while in Europe.. I missed looking in the mirror and seeing the things I do like about myself… And the person I see when I imagine the weight gone. I missed my leather jacket. I love my leather jacket! I missed these sunrises.. The deep burnt orange and reds that my camera can’t even pick up. Home. I love home. I love my home. I can come home and feel safe… So why can’t I stop having panic attacks? Why do I feel so completely disfunctional?  I need to start making lists to make sure I get everything done, and don’t stay stuck in this scattered panicky place I always seem to find myself in when I am home.  But first …

Time to love myself….

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Rome – The Gallery

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Here’s some of my favorite shots I took while I was in Rome… I’ll be taking the best ten and editing them to really pop and be worthy of a space on my walls at home (my gallery) and then taking the best shot and painting it on canvas.  
Lemme know which your favorites are.. If you guys want prints of any of my paintings or photography.. Please let me know.. If it’s a specific one that isn’t already posted to   society6.com/Storme, my online store front.. I can certainly send it there.  This is something I really want to grow in order to support my travels.  I don’t really want to be remembered for being an Airbnb tycoon.. Or even a travel.. I’m an artist.. Painting, photography, sharing the beauty that’s within our world .. That’s what ignites the fire within me..  So feel to share any of what I post.  

I appreciate the support!!! I give you Rome… 

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I hope you’ve enjoyed it .. If you wanna see the other photography.. Click here and it’ll be a continued ongoing growing list… For videos make sure you connect with me on YouTube .. For unedited in the moment footage.. Add me on snapchat: cre8ivflame and lastly.. For as much experience, in the moment.. The good, bad, and the downright ugly .. Hit me up on Facebook.  

$11 flight to Italy? Si!

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My travel plans have pretty much been dictated by where Ryanair flys to, for the cheapest, from wherever I currently am.  From Malta that ended up being Bari, Italy! Perfect, because I got to add another sea to my list.  I was a little nervous about the cost effectiveness of this hop over.. the flight was cheap enough at 10€ but the transfer to the city, and a place to stay was looking a little costly to say I would actually only be there for a day.. but it worked out.  I was sent a couchsurfing offer from KJ May, who was kind enough to let me be her first guest on couchsurfing.  She had a mattress in her room where I could get some much needed sleep, as my flight landed around 11pm, and she gave me the best way to get to the apartment using public transport.  Unfortunately I misunderstood that I was to take a train from the airport and then a taxi to the apartment.. she had said 10€ for the taxi, but I thought that that was from the airport, so I immeadiately began haggling the 35 € that the taxi driver asked for.  I talked him down to 20€ only to be dropped off 2 miles from the apartment.  Landing in a new country in the middle of the night, and having no idea where I was or should’ve been.. it wasn’t the best situation to find myself in.  Fortunately we have GPS nowadays, and I was able to map my walk… sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

KJ recommended some places to check out while I was in town, and from the list I chose to take a train to Alberobello… check it out!

The roundtrip train was 9€ .. i spent 2€ on a gelato.. because you just have to! 1€ for the public bathroom…

Breakfast was provided for by my host… and a yummy omelet and fruit smoothie it was too!  She also brought home the very first italian pizza that i would ever try in my life…ermagershhh … it was delicious!! I don’t think I could ever eat fake pizza again! 1.50€ for the train to the airport .. oh and postcards and winners souvenir for last weeks’ guess the cost competition .. 6€

Total out of pocket – 41.50€