Adele has a way of opening the flood gates doesn’t she! She did it again today as I listened to “All I Ask”.
It’s really scary letting people in.. On that really intimate level where you can tell them not only all your crazies .. But the painful reasons why they exist. Those memories that you usually try to banish from your mind.. Yet you invite them in.. Remember them.. Re feel them.. And regurgitate to share them so that someone you love can have a better understanding of who You are and why You are like you are… All in the name of intimacy.
You don’t realize it but in those moments You’re bartering. In exchange for those cobwebs of your soul, you’re wanting a commitment that they’ll always be there to share those moments with.. Because once that door is open it flows.. And it never stops flowing. The scariest thing in the world is being left to face those ghosts once again by yourself..
Trust me I know.. I’ve done it before and that’s how my door became closed. I think for me, that’s the hardest part of a break up.. and why I’m so afraid to love again. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it tho!
It matters how this ends… Cos what if I never love again.